frontage roads: a texas tutorial.

Everything is bigger in Texas.

Including the highways. I think I-10 has something like 8 lanes on each side at its widest point. And that doesn't even include the frontage roads running along either side. Add another 4 lanes in each direction and you've reached a whopping total of 24. And guess who gets to drive on that overwhelming slab of concrete...this kid.

We haven't really warmed up to one another yet.

Reason #1? Those darned frontage roads.

Little ole' Knoxville has no idea what a frontage road is, and if I had seen one before coming here I sure didn't know it. But Houston pretty much lives by them, and it makes for quite the confusing and frustrating driving experience. Allow me to explain.

You can't get on or off the interstate without encountering one...and they're ridden with those pesky red lights. AND they're one-way. So let's say you accidentally drive past the entrance to the Starbucks because you're brand new to a huge city...sorry Charlie, but you've gotta drive all the way to the next light, use the nifty U-turn lane, drive on the other side's frontage road to a light, U-turn it again, and then drive really slowly and carefully to make sure you make the Starbucks entrance this time and avoid another rectangular detour. I do this on a daily basis. Argh.

 Apparently they call it a "Texas Turnaround"...

But then let's say you've got your always necessary Tall Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte in hand and are ready to leave Starbucks. Go on and make your right turn (only option) and quick! Get over 4 or 5 lanes without smashing into any of the Texas-sized trucks hurling down the road at obscene speeds so you can make the U-turn once again and get going back in the right direction. It's intimidating. It's scary. It's nearly impossible, and it takes guts. I don't have those and am not sure if I've yet accomplished the "floor it and clear the width of the frontage road" maneuver without getting honked at.

You've probably stopped reading by now, but I'm gonna keep going. Houston has a major interstate or highway running each direction and half-direction through the city, and each has an accompanying frontage road. They got really creative with the titles...Northwest Freeway, North Freeway, East Freeway, Southwest Freeway...then there's the Gulf Freeway and Katy Freeway...those get a few extra points I suppose. But at the same time they're considered to be a part of the interstate or highway they run with...290, I-45, 59, I-10, the numbers go on.  

Impressed by my Houston road knowledge yet? 

Well let's just say it's pretty confusing at first to figure out where things are by an address.

"Ok, so the restaurant is on the Southwest Freeway, but wait, it's off 59, how does that work? Ok, I'm on 59. Look! There's the sign, let's get off! But wait, it's on the other side of the interstate. Shoot! This road is one way and goes on forever and the line of cars waiting at that red light is soo long, and I can't get over in time, and nooo, I missed the turn again. Oh forget it, I don't need dinner anyway. I'm eating PB&J."

Whew, deep breath. But seriously, we go through conversations like that all. the. time.

Gotta love Houston folks.  :)

Also...things like this happen on roads in Houston...yes, it's real life. It was last week.